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I have a shy personality, lack communication skills and don't have much sense of humor... shouldn't I be doing something like buying a woman gifts to give her a reason to be with me?

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***QUESTION***

Hello, I do agree with the Cocky Funny in theory. However for me it is proving to be difficult in practice. One of the biggest hurdles for me seem to be the initial walkup. I am a very shy, nervous, and easily embarrassed person. Often when I see a beautiful women my heart starts to thump and my hands sweat, and face goes red. I have had 2 opportunities in the past few weeks where I had women come up to me to ask me for something, once for directions, and once for a light. I can think of a few things after these happened, like I could have told the girl asking for a lighter "those things are bad for you, you know"....The girl asking for directions was a golden opportunity missed, I could have been more detailed and then got her email, but instead I just kind of froze up and gave her quick instructions. When this happens I start to get regrets and beat myself up for not thinking more on my toes.

I do think that places outside of nightclubs are good, because women don't expect it, and you catch them off guard, but I was on the tub this morning (subway in the USA) and saw this absolutely stunning Brazilian, I thought perhaps I could do the "are you single, my friend would like you" but all the people around me made me hesitate and put it off. If I had done it right at the beginning instead of oogling her in disbelief I probably could of done it.

For me at this point, just to make an attempt would be good to give me a boost. I realize I have become such a wuss. How do I get out of this nervous rut which keeps me from going for the women of my dreams.

J.P in London

» MY COMMENTS:

If it freaks you out too much to approach women in public, then figure out how to meet them in other ways.

Get online and start instant messaging women...

Go to a pottery or yoga class (if those things interest you)...

Get a part-time job as a bartender.

Take dance lessons.

There are all kinds of great ways to meet women...

By the way, one of the best things you can do is get together with a friend, and go out for a day and meet 50 women. Just approach every single woman you see and use one of the techniques you've learned.

Then go do it again.

You might get sick the first 5 times, depending on how deeply-rooted your fears are, but this will help you get over it.

Part of the problem is that you don't know what to expect. It sounds to me like you really don't know how women will respond to you.

By approaching a lot of women one day, you'll find out that women are usually pretty nice, and you'll be able to handle whatever happens.

Otherwise, use one of the ideas I gave you above to make meeting women easier. It might be a good place to start.