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A seduction moves through stages... flirting, showing interest, trading some basic info to see how compatible you both are (common interests, etc.). THEN you have to ask her out for a lunch or coffee date and begin to establish your romantic interest in her.

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***QUESTION***

Sup Dave,

Man you got some skillz with the ladies. I'm learning so much from you, now friends are asking me for 'advice', that's wild. Well for the past couple of weeks i just decided to give the cocky and funny thing a try, to great reviews from the ladies. I was getting tired of hearing "you are such a nice kid." My problem is trying to figure out if i went too far with joking with this girl. in her book i wrote " what's up girl, i can't lie, you look good, almost as good as me (haha). Give me a call so we can chill, go to the movies, makeout...whatever. It was tight being in classes w/ you, your energy and great smile can really light up any situation. Have a tight summer. peace"

It seems like in the past weeks she has started to like me. The thing is, she is one of the most liked girls at our school, i always played it coo around her, jus being friends (oh ya, i got the email). It's not like i'm a bad looking guy either so... "was it the right thing for me to right this?" yeah, and if i messed up and she is mad at me or something what should i do to fix the situation w/out sounding like a 6'3 tall wussy? "oh yeah, and "how do i kno when these girls like me or not, they throw out mixed signals" one day they're all over a brotha, next day they're not talking to me...weird. Anywayz, if you can understand my conumdrum and give me some advice, i would be greatly apreciative.

Peace,

your friendly neighborhood black guy

» MY COMMENTS:

Let me drop the knowledge...

First of all, get used to attractive women sending you mixed signals. It's part of life.

One of the reasons why a woman will be "all over you one day but cold the next" is because during the time she was "all over you", YOU ACTED LIKE A WUSS.

A lot of guys don't get this.

They get all upset because a girl was friendly one day, but totally acted different the next.

What often happens is something like this:

1) You do the right things, and make her feel ATTRACTION.

2) She starts acting affectionate. Maybe you make out.

3) You start saying "Wow, I really like you" etc. and act all smitten with her to her face too early on instead of just leaning back, enjoying, and playing it cool.

4) She CHANGES HER MIND and sees you in a different light because you turned into a WUSS right before her very eyes.

You feel me?

Better way: Keep doing what you know works. Keep leaning back, being unpredictable, playing hard to get, etc. And don't start acting smitten too early on!